12 Years Ago Today

Posted By on June 18, 2012

Twelve years ago today, a white steel framed tent sat in the back yard of my father-in-law’s home. It sheltered part of our wedding party that day… on Father’s Day in fact.

It now sits in our driveway, probably to our neighbors’ dismay, tattered and frayed.

In my garden, there is still the remnants of a ficus tree we bought the first year we were married. I always thought, it could be one of those things I could pass on to my children, when it is as tall as the ceiling. Now, its skeletal remains protrude from the composting Earth of my garden.

Life can do that sometimes, to weather away the things and ideas we hold dear. Cameron and my relationship is no different. Our identities are no different. The people we were 12 years ago, are no longer the people who live and breath today.

Each new day, I clear my eyes so when I look at my partner, I see the person that is in front of me without a story but a heart. Because no matter what our story is, that too will change into something else or decompose, blending into the cycle of life. All I can do is let it go.

The greatest gift we’ve ever given each other may be just that: to see each other just as we are, without attachments to the future or judgements of the past. It doesn’t keep us together, it keeps us connected.

Here is to another year.


About The Author

I am a Chinese-American mother of three boys, parenting with the traditions worth keeping from the East and West. I continue to learn new ways of raising a family and myself.

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