10 ways to Reconnect With Our Children, a response to the UCLA’s recent research study

Posted By on April 18, 2012

Some recent articles cropped up from the New York Times and Wall St. Journal, they cited some of the research from University of California, Los Angeles’ Center on Everyday Lives of Families. With the help of 32 local families, 1,540 hours of videotape showing nearly every waking, at-home moment during a week, researchers want to answer questions like: Why do American children depend on their parents to do things for them that they can do themselves? Do children listen to their parents?

The results are grim. What happened? And more importantly, how do we raise independent, self sufficient children that can be valued members of humanity?

Here is my Top 10 ways to Reconnect with Our Children.

  1. Turn off, put away or, if you dare, get rid of the TV.
  2. Get rid of all the junk in your house you never use. These are just distractions from what is really important in the house, the people.
  3. Look your children in the eyes and talk to them not at them.
  4. Show gratitude for the things they do that brings you joy or enriches your day/life. Be specific and authentic.
  5. Ask them to work with you not for you.
  6. Trust that they are competent capable people and treat them as such. If you don’t believe in them, who will?
  7. Practice what you preach.
  8. Be patient with their journey. They are here to learn just like you. Love them and their quirks.
  9. Laugh and celebrate together. It doesn’t have to be structured or planned. When we enjoy life, it becomes contagious.
  10. Value connection over control. When we feel connected, we want to contribute, this applies to all humans.

Did I miss anything? Please add your ideas.

About The Author

I am a Chinese-American mother of three boys, parenting with the traditions worth keeping from the East and West. I continue to learn new ways of raising a family and myself.


Leave a Reply

7 − 4 =