NYC 2010, My Brother’s New Life

Posted By on June 21, 2010

3 years ago, my brother started dating a girl, his first girlfriend ever. Now they are engaged — this is serious! My brother had been a sensitive and delicate child. He had a rough time as a teenager. Being the older sister and extremely protective, I always worried that something might happen to his heart. So I never opened mine up to her.

Krystal and Ben

During this visit, I was keenly aware of my issues and wanted to face them. The first few days proved to be challenging, all they would do was kiss and hug each other. Joking around in a world only they seem to understand. How I longed to connect with my brother the way I remembered so fondly. This wasn’t just about opening to my brother’s new love but a letting go of a world I once knew and give it permission to grow into something new and unfamiliar.

I allowed myself to see her without fences and this is what I saw. I saw a girl/woman so very much in love with my brother, who sees his strengthens even when my parents missed them at times. She loves the part of him I love: his kind heart, witty sense of humor and compassionate nature. I saw a girl who was blossoming into womanhood and willing to journey with my brother through better or worse.

The day before I left New York, I checked with my heart and discovered I had in fact let her in. Suddenly all I could see were the beautiful parts about her and the beautiful possibilities their love and struggles can bring into the world.

What an adventure they will have together. I was so happy for them. My brother is a man now, he can watch out for his own heart.

And me? I will always be his big sister.

About The Author

I am a Chinese-American mother of three boys, parenting with the traditions worth keeping from the East and West. I continue to learn new ways of raising a family and myself.


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